Wednesday, February 16, 2011

And now for something more positive.

I had my glucose tolerance test today. The one-hour blood test is basically a candidacy screening for the three-hour test, so... we'll see how it goes. I hope I pass, if for no other reason than that I don't want to sit around the Cleveland Clinic for three hours.

I got my eastern-European lab tech with her lifesaving butterfly needle again. High point of my day, right there. I kind of want to tell her that she looks like a Russian mail-order bride, but I think she might take that the wrong way. What I mean to say is that's she's pretty, in an interesting, foreign sort of way.

I kind of did my OB/GYN appointment today ass backwards. Everyone and their mom was at the Clinic this morning, so I went in, used the bathroom, and immediately realized that I was supposed to pee in a cup in the next ten minutes. Oops. No pee in the cup for me!

I headed over to the lab, waited around for a few minutes, drank my glucola, hit the button on the little timer they gave me, and walked back to the OB/GYN area for my appointment. I sheepishly admitted to having peed only a few minutes before and was (thankfully) told that it didn't matter so long as I somehow left some pee behind before I went home.

By the way, glucola is tasty. I don't see what the big deal is. It's orange pop with a couple extra sugar packets, and it's not like you have to drink a two-liter. Seriously, who has problems drinking half a pint of orange pop? I don't even like sugary drinks and I didn't gag on the stuff.

Anyway, after my (embarrassing) weigh-in, I was left in the exam room for over half an hour. My OB decided to be late to work, apparently. I then had a hurried appointment, got chastised for my weight gain (see previous entry, with f-bombs), and went back to the lab, where I was told I had seven minutes and thirty-three seconds to kill before my blood draw.

I then went back to the OB/GYN area, booked by next appointment, went back to the lab (again), had my blood drawn, and went back--again--to the OB/GYN area, where I let myself in the back and waited in line for the restroom so that I could finally pee in my cup.

And then I went home and cried about being a whale.

The end.

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